A testimony

The things that I need to do this semester are almost done. Time passed in a blink of an eye. So fast... The clock ticks without me even noticing it. Being a little free now, I used this time to reflect what I had done in this seven weeks. I was involved in an event called "Joy To The World" organised by the Christian Fellowship. This event is very different from the one we did for Easter. This one is of a bigger scale. I learn a lot about communication, respect and tolerance towards one another throughout the whole preparation of this event. I endured tiredness and problems. It was a period of time that I didn't know how I could manage to stay strong if I do not have God. He put people around me to support me and provided all my needs. It's amazing how God worked in my life. I'm sure the minute when we took up the challenge to do this event, God has already know the problems that we will encounter and had came out with solutions. It is only the matter of our faith. I want to admit that I was not strong and courageous enough to stand firm. But, thanks to the encouragement that I received from friends and my family, I managed to pull this through. Well, the performance turns out to be quite good despite all the technical errors. I personally feel that the impact of this event not only happened to the audience on that particular night but also to every single person that had participated in making this event a successful one. We went through mind battles and different challenges throughout these seven weeks. It's good to see when everyone get together to do God's work together just like old time. The outcome was something that touches me until today. In the end, everything is under God's control. I shouldn't had worried for it was unnecessary. Beside me is one BIG GOD that can make the impossibles into possibles. This is really a testimony that I will treasure.

What The Lord has done in me

I was listening to this song "It's what the Lord has done in me".

Let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say I am weak
Let the blind say I can see
It's what the Lord has done in me

God has been doing a lot of things in my life. I may not have spoken of it but I do realized how He works things out for me. God has richly blessed me with things that even at times I feel I'm unworthy for it. I'm too ashamed to face God for I'm dirty. Very dirty.
I always wonder why God would bless me with good marks in my exams when others who worked ten times harder than me got lower marks. I found my answer today.

Keeran shared a verse with me today.

"Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back,
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes"

Isaiah 54:2

He explained that the enlarging the tent means extend the church or an organization or even our individual mentoring towards others. Stretching the curtains is to welcome and not to hold back. Facing it courageously with the Lord.Lengthen cords means to extend our connection to our surroundings. It might be the people or the situation. Strengthening stakes refers to the depth of knowledge of God's words which comes with the relationship with God as well.
He asked me which state am I in.
I do not know the answer at that time.
But now as I ponder it once again, I'm at the state of holding back.

I was holding back my heart to go one step closer to the Lord because I'm ashamed.
And the answer to why God has blessed me with all these goodness of getting good grades was because He wanted me to go back to Him.
Challenging me to spend more time with Him by using His goodness to touch me from my broken heart and life,
wanting me to go back to a life that places Him first above everything else.
Above everything includes literally EVERYTHING from studying to serving Him.
It is the relationship that matters.
God is really great.
He is real.
How often do you see SOMEONE overcome your bad deeds with overflowing blessings?
How often do you see SOMEONE coming to your rescue when you call out to him although he knew you sinned against him?
This is my wake up call!

Great news

Two weeks back, I received a call from Sarawak. It was from the Samling Company, the company to which I had sent my scholarship application form to. The one that cause me so much trouble to write in by myself without giving me a form to fill. Having them short-listing me for the interview was the last thing appearing in my mind. Well, anyway...I went to the interview. (Thanking God it was being held in UTAR and not in Sarawak). I personally felt that I didn't do well during my interview. But, by God's grace, they told me that I was selected to be awarded the scholarship. (Jaws drop down) I was so surprise to see the email. I happily announce it to almost everyone who knows I went for the interview. Everyone was very happy with it, including myself, of course. It has been three days since I received the news and I think I'm still in shock. I can't believe I just got a scholarship that requires me to be bound for only 3 years. Ada...got a scholarship. I'm still finding it weird and somehow, disbelieving.

God's plan?

I'm now officially enrolled as a degree student. I can't believe I've gone this far but I know, I'm about to start the next journey of my life. It's going to be a long and interesting one. I just know it. =) Lately, I just got a job of being a translator. Two years back, I told my mummy that I want to work as a translator when I've grown old enough. Surprisingly, here I am, not even reaching 20 yet, have already gotten the job of being a 'part-time comic translator'. I thought translating is an easy job but after going through the test that my boss sent me, I definitely have changed my mind. Probably it is due to my weak Bahasa Melayu. For the past 18 months I had stopped conversing and writing in Bahasa Melayu. So, translating from English to Bahasa is quite a challenge for me. I think God is having a great plan for me ahead. There were a lot of amusing scenarios that happened to me last week. It all started on Thurday. Let me start off on how I get this job.

Aaron is one of my friend that used to hang out with me. However, he found another group of gang during the second semester. This group of friends that he normally mixed with are people who are very studious and smart. So, the story starts on last Thursday when I start to ask Aaron 'why are you taking my homework lately?' He said that his bunch of friends were busy doing medical reports and working. So, the word ' working' caught my attention. I continued to ask about what work they are getting into just out of curiosity. And so, he introduced me to this job and helped me to contact my current boss. But at that very moment, I was thinking for a reason for me to take the job and I don't find one. It's not like I'm craving for money. But somehow, after that, someone called me to join the study tour to Korea. Now, I found a reason to work part time. I wonder if this is part of God's plan. And after a translation test, she accepted my application. Hurray! I just want to say a big THANK YOU to Aaron now.

Anyway, our conversation didn't stop there. We continue talking about one of his friend who can type and translate very fast. The person that he was talking is someone I admire a lot. Someone I only know by name and by face. I've heard a lot of stories about him but I never really get to talk to him. In fact I actually discussed about this with another friend of mine before on how is this person not suppose to know me and stuff. On the next day, this guy so happen to appear beside my table and start talking to me. I was quite surprise on how he started the conversation. He called me by name. -_-!! Only then I realised, he knows my name. I feel like I'm writing crap but I find it very mysterious somehow...==

What is going on with the people around me

I have been doing great this semester despite my deteriorating results. I enjoy the things I'm doing. I enjoy the friends I'm having. I enjoy the life I'm having. What makes me even happier is to knowing that the friends around me are doing just as good as I am. I know Ming Qiu and Esther is involving in some UPM competition which requires them to take used materials to make up something new and useful. They are doing a fine job there after getting into the finals. Chee Hooi's group is coming up with ideas on how to help a poor family. Elizabeth is having an awesome time in Paris. Even my university friends are all busy with something. Like Ah Beh and Kah Soon, they are busy with their girlfriend. Others getting busy with finals. As for the new CF committees, they are all coping up in their responsibilities. And I have one more friend in America, he's enjoying his life there doing recordings in the recording studios till 4am. Hahaha...He came out with some really awesome song and covers. I...I'm doing good too.

'Ada, surprisingly, you look a lot more calmer this semester'

" Ada, surprisingly, you look a lot more calmer this semester", said John. That's the phrase that makes me smile today. I admit that I really had become a lot more calmer compared to last semester.

Although I have more assignments and presentations and even get involved in an Easter Musical, I feel happy.
Maybe it is because I'm doing something that I have a lot of passion in, musical.
I love to sing,
I love to act,
I love the art of spreading message to people with body language.
Though, I'm not singing and acting on stage on that very day,
but...
it doesn't matter to me.
Even if I'm playing the least role in it, I'll still be very happy.
I hadn't been blogging for some time due to my hectic schedule. I have move in and out between practices, classes and home. It's really tiring but, I'm still pushing on because God is giving me the ultimate strength.
Praise the Lord.
It's amazing how we get to connect with the people around us even more closer when we are trying to achieve the ONE goal.
I got to know some of them better from the inside out.
I used to think Kharis as a very quiet girl. But, now, not anymore. We have a lot to talk. I enjoy the time when two of us write and compose songs together. I enjoy the time, when I share my problems with her.
Now, I also know more about Lu Yi, Shu Jian, Steven, Grace,Roy and Keeran.
Lu Yi is such a sweet girl who offers to cook for me.I enjoy the time when we cook maggi mee.
Shu Jian whom I used to thought that he's a 93 guy turns out to be someone that proves that he's 91. He's got brains and really good English. Kharis and I learn a lot from him.
Steven, the daddy. He is a great friend. I never know he is a star in music. He can play the piano so well.
Thanks for entertain us with the beautiful melody.
In the midst of writing songs, composing songs, editing scripts, pouring out ideas, making thousands of phone calls to remind about practices, worrying for one another, preparing props, practicing dance, warming up vocals, tuning in the right key, playing on the piano, reading over the lines again and again, trying to get the best expression, directing people, getting the venue fixed, spreading the news about this musical and praying earnestly to God,
I learn to stay strong and hope that the least will come out from me,
but the most comes from God.

'Secrets-revealing-weekend'

I went through quite an unusual weekend back in Teluk Intan. I spent some time having some very intimate talk with two person despite preparing for my tests.

On Friday night, I had a chat with a friend of mine. He isn't very close to me but we've known each other for quite some time. He said he is so troubled and find no one to go to and end up, chatting with me. Well, I think it is by God's grace that I was still awake at 2a.m. for him to find me. He was feeling so devastated and crying all the way. He told me about his wrong-doings and how he felt so bad about it.He look so unloved. I felt his pain and cried together. I know it sounds stupid but I can really felt his desperation of wanting God to fill his heart. He wants to feel the love of Christ forhim again. He wanted so much to make things right but it turns out the other way round. He wanted to stop all his bad behaviors but he never get to fulfill his promises. I'm glad that he noticed his negative attitudes. I pray that God can grant me the strength to help him .

Then, on the following night, I had a long good chat with my sister. We started off talking about K-Pop concerts and then to my crush. And slowly, we went to a topic that I never thought we would even talk about it, our family problem. All these years, I thought I was the only one who was deeply hurt by the things I see and felt the pain of going through all the hard situations by myself. I thought she was living somewhere else knowing nothing that had happened back at home. But that wasn't true. In fact, she knows I cry to bed every night but not wanting to say anything about it. She knows the fear I had to bear. She knows a lot of things. On the other way round, I was the one who don't know her knowing all these and also the things she had to face in KL alone. She remained quiet and keep everything to herself. How can someone be so strong to keep all these fears in herself and not showing the least bit of it? She's amazing. I never know my sister got so much fears. But she never shows it. I wish I could help her to overcome her fears but... I 'm not there with her all the time.God is the only one that can help her then.

Now,I know my sister better ...She's indeed another person that I think is very strong besides my mum.

Overwhelmed by His love

I attended an event call the i-Musical night in PCC just now. I think the Powerhouse presented a really good musical sketch.Although it is short, it did touched my heart. Somehow tonight, the whole event turns out to be something that I didn't expect it at all. Honestly, the reason I went there was to see how they do the musical thing. But, it seems I gained so much more than that.

I felt God.
I felt Him.

The feeling that I had almost forgotten. The last time I was so overwhelmed by his love was when I'm in Canning Garden Methodist Church and that was like five years ago. I know it's embarrassing to keep crying. The try to hold back my tears but it seems I had lost control of myself. The tears keep pouring out. I feel so guilty and unworthy for all the things that I had done. In the past five years, I had gone through a lot of things. It hurts me so badly but I keep holding on to it. I tried spilling out to friends but yet the pain never subsided and the memories of it is still haunting me.

I'm so thankful that someone tonight actually reminded me how much God had loved me and that he is still protecting me. "Jesus loves me" is a phrase that I often hear and said to people. But the true meaning of it can only be felt when you really experience it.

Slowly changing again

Today I went to church like I always do. I happily stepped into the sanctuary, greeting the aunties that I saw and Barney. Then at the front desk, Mrs. Woo brought forward a brown colored, medium size envelope to me. My name was written on it in BOLD. I got a shock receiving it. And she went " Your boyfriend left you this". I know she's joking and just laugh on what she said. I tried to get her tell me who gave that all along. In the end, she say," Barney". And Barney was right behind me. It's quite surprising to see him still hanging around here and giving me a Christmas present when Chinese New Year is just four days away. But anyway, presents are never too late...Hehehe... When I unwrapped it, I found a book written there... " Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire". Well, the title did captured my attention but the cover of the book look rather boring.

Just now, I decided to just take a look of the book but the content catches my attention. I kept reading it not wanting to let it down. The book talks about a couple who heard the calling of God to serve in a a church in downtown Brooklyn and the miracles they experienced as the years gone by. Their faith for God and certain phrases in the book had touched me deeply and had me reflect it to my life.

Today is quite a good day for me because I slowly felt the presence of God in me again after slacking for quite some time. When Pastor Andrew gave the sermon " the Prodigal Son- The Elder Son", I felt as if he is talking about me. It is clear that most of the Christians had know this story very well and I am no exceptional. But, as he was preaching today, the real meaning of the scripture only appeared to me. I am like the Elder Son.Everything happened so fast that I only get to put things two by two now. God is trying to tell me how to draw back to HIM.

First, he put me as a committee member in an Easter program that requires me to do the casting and help out in the script rather than the costumes this time. Then, Wendy said she felt like doing a drama based on the story "The Prodigal Son". And, of course we agreed. As we discussed about it, Barney's testimonial just struck my thought and I told them about him. So we came to an agreement to act out his past. On that very night itself, I felt so worried if I cannot get an endorsement from him to do his story but thank god, he said 'ok' and even offered to write it out for us to refer.

Then comes today, this sermon popped out from no where and of all place I can wander, I attended the service back in my own church. Sitting down there, looking at the bulletin, still got surprised by the gift i got before that, Barney came and said "I think I'm the younger son" pointing at the title of the sermon. I laughed at what he said and agreed to it thinking that he was talking about the script I told him. But after listening to the sermon, only then I realized what he is talking all about.

Another thing that you may find it normal but I find it surprisingly weird is Vennesa and Pei Fen. No doubt these two girls are the closest to me in church, normally, I'll be the one who starts to talk and talk more than them. But today, as soon as Vennesa sit down by my side, she start telling about all the great things that had happened in Jeremiah School. I just sat there listening to her. It isn't the stories she said that mesmerized me but the fire and faith she had for God that inspired me again. Though she is a baby Christian but who cares, God takes care of those who are weak and uses them even more. As for Pei Fen, lately, she had constantly sms-ing me about her spiritual walk with God in Acts Church. I'm glad that she settled down in Acts Church and get to encounter God. The same thing like Vennesa, I felt the excitement she had for Christ. Two of them made me reflect to myself again. They somehow dropped me a message but I still don't know what's it. I know God is slowly changing my life again.

Before forgetting this, there's also another event that I find that God is trying to tell me something. Dad told me about his conversation with Andrew Chew during a dinner in KL.Andrew Chew told my dad that I'm having a lot of spiritual warfare. It's weird hearing that from him. The question is how would he know what I'm going through now when I hadn't tell him before. And what makes him so sure that I'm having a lot of spiritual warfare. I ponder on this for a while but deep down in my heart, I actually think he's right. I'm worried that I'll stumble to the temptations around me. The only thing I can do is to pray to HIM.

'God never turn a deaf ear to the one who CRIES out to HIM.'

Sweet and Bitter first week

It has been four days since the third semester of my foundation year started. I name this week bitter because I had to suffer three sleepless nights due to itchiness all over my body. To make the long story short, it was due to allergic. I didn't know that I'm allergy to dust so badly all this while. So, now that I know, does it mean I can stay out of all the cleaning chores? I think my mum is going to say " Yes, it will only come true in your dream".
I call this week sweet because I find myself feeling happy all the time despite the itchiness I have. I'm glad to see that there is a lot of new members joining our Christian Fellowship. It's a new beginning again for them. Looking at the new foundation students reminds me of the first time when I step into Utar. The word ALIEN was the only thing that I can describe for myself. I hope they can adapt to the people and environment over here.
Results are one of the most common topic to talk about when a new semester starts. And so, my friends and I are also keen to ask people about it. I didn't do it for the sake of comparing but I'm just being caring. I just want to share the happiness of those who had improved in their studies and encourage those who didn't do to well. And I'm glad that one of friends who didn't do well in the 2nd semester decided to put in more effort in the 3rd semester. Only four days had passed in this new semester but he had already start revising. This is the spirit that all of us need to learn.