It's the end, I'm tired

As the clock struck twelve just now, I know that was the moment that determines my future.The matriculation results are out again. I checked and I didn't got it AGAIN. This is not the first time I got rejected. I've received so much disappointment lately. I'm so down. SO DOWN...It's like no one wants you no matter how hard you work for it. I know there is an alternative way ready for me to go for it but...I never get what I desire most. It's always like this. I tried to be optimistic but, I'm so tired of pretending. I want to look at the bright side but really, it's so tired to tell a lie to others saying..."It's ok, I'm alright,I still have UTAR" when I'm actually not ok. It's such a let down. I'm not sure what's the use of all the hard work I put in during my exam last time. I think I've been pretending to be a good girl, to be an optimistic person and to be strong when I am not. Honestly, I hate it when people criticize UTAR. My sister graduated from this university. She worked hard for it and I think she did quite well. What is it so bad about UTAR? Why do I have to bear all these? I know I'm not alone going through all these. Many of my friends are in my shoes too. It's so unfair. I'm tired of hiding all my hatred toward this education ministry.

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I want to say thank you to this friend of mine who remembers me tonight. Thanks for being the first person to ask me for the results. We hadn't met each other for quite sometime already but you still remember me. I appreciate your concern very much. Thank you for understanding my situation. I know you aren't good in consoling people but, your act has show your heart of sincerity. I hope you'll do well in your matriculation since you have the chance too. All the best and I'll remember you too.