I'm all alone

I'm alone again. It's not my first time but, I still don't get used to it. I've always been lonely at home during the day time because my mum goes to work. All I can do is just to sit there and wait for her to come back from work. Whenever I heard the screetching sound of the motorbike at about dusk, I know she's back.Today, I still hear the sound of the motorbike but it wasn't her. In fact, I automatically peep through the window when I hear the sound of motorbike. Till then, only I realise my mum is no way in Malaysia.I laughed to myself every time I do it. I thought I've already get used to it that she's not around me because I've tried it before already during National Service. Somehow, I think it's different this time. I don't know why. I miss her badly. I think it's because of the environment. I was in camp during the National Service but this time I'm in my own house. This is the house that I've been living for the past 17 years. It's normal to see me alone at home during the day in these 17 years but it's extremely rare to see me being alone at home during the night. I feel so empty in here. I hated to do house chores all this while when my mum is around but today, I feel so uneasy when I didn't do it all properly. Now I understand how much she miss me when she's at home and I'm away in NS. Everything will change next week. I know she will continue to miss me just like how I miss her now. My tears are still dropping now...I miss this house,this HOME. When things start to turn back to the right path, I have to leave. IS this how life works?