Anxious morning

My heartbeat rate is increasing now. Feeling very anxious. I'm so speechless now. It's a thursday morning. Supposingly, I should be going for prayer meeting this morning but I can't. I feel very guilty because I had been skipping for quite some time...Managing timetable is something that I had never done before in my life. As in a timetable for your following three months in campus. When I was in secondary and primary, everything is done readied for me. But now, not anymore. I had made three plans. A, B and C. But who will know what will happen later? That's why I'm so worried now. I really hope God will help me...A day start of with so much worries reminds me of the bible verse...God tell us not to be worry and do not be anxious. I hope I can do it but I just can't right now. Hmmm... God how I wish I could put my trust more in You. How good it is if I could just let everyone do it. I really don't want to compete. But there are circumstances that do not let me to do so.

13th week

I've not been blogging for quite some time due to certain reasons...Anyway...I'm blogging again now. I can't believe the time passed so fast. This is the 13th week already, I'm staying here in Utar. I enjoyed my journey here so far. The stay was not as bad as I thought at first. I had met many people. And like my dad say, I got a lot of friends here. But dad, honestly, the close ones I only have a few. I'm glad that the people here accept me well. It's a blessing that God had gave me. I appreciate it a lot. But I missed something here. A friend of mine actually noticed that I changed. I myself noticed that too. I feel very guilty for all of the things I've done here. I've changed to become more playful than I used too. I hadn't been doing my quiet time too lately. When I was in secondary, I always hope for a uni life. But when I'm now in Uni life, I missed my secondary school life. I miss the time when I can do my quiet time the few minutes before I go to school. Spending time with God teaches me a lot. I didn't get to hear his message already. Neither did I pray to Him. This is so wrong. But, I only realize all this when I saw Wendy's tears just now. Her tears for all the burden she had to want to be closer to God reminds me about my relationship with God. She cry to God. I asked myself, when was the last time I cry to God. I can't even answer that question. When can I really worship God with my whole heart? I've reklying too much on myself. When can I start to put all my trust on God?

A smiley weekend

This is one of the picture that I took after finishing my assignment...This picture that you are watching had given me terrible headache and frustrations...Now that I've handed it in to my lecturer, I feel like a big rock had lifted from my shoulder. A big thanks to God for giving me all the strength and energy to complete it. The feeling is so good when you actually finish doing something that you had put in a lot of effort and that made me smile....A smile that makes me think that all the hard work that I had put in worth it...