'Secrets-revealing-weekend'

I went through quite an unusual weekend back in Teluk Intan. I spent some time having some very intimate talk with two person despite preparing for my tests.

On Friday night, I had a chat with a friend of mine. He isn't very close to me but we've known each other for quite some time. He said he is so troubled and find no one to go to and end up, chatting with me. Well, I think it is by God's grace that I was still awake at 2a.m. for him to find me. He was feeling so devastated and crying all the way. He told me about his wrong-doings and how he felt so bad about it.He look so unloved. I felt his pain and cried together. I know it sounds stupid but I can really felt his desperation of wanting God to fill his heart. He wants to feel the love of Christ forhim again. He wanted so much to make things right but it turns out the other way round. He wanted to stop all his bad behaviors but he never get to fulfill his promises. I'm glad that he noticed his negative attitudes. I pray that God can grant me the strength to help him .

Then, on the following night, I had a long good chat with my sister. We started off talking about K-Pop concerts and then to my crush. And slowly, we went to a topic that I never thought we would even talk about it, our family problem. All these years, I thought I was the only one who was deeply hurt by the things I see and felt the pain of going through all the hard situations by myself. I thought she was living somewhere else knowing nothing that had happened back at home. But that wasn't true. In fact, she knows I cry to bed every night but not wanting to say anything about it. She knows the fear I had to bear. She knows a lot of things. On the other way round, I was the one who don't know her knowing all these and also the things she had to face in KL alone. She remained quiet and keep everything to herself. How can someone be so strong to keep all these fears in herself and not showing the least bit of it? She's amazing. I never know my sister got so much fears. But she never shows it. I wish I could help her to overcome her fears but... I 'm not there with her all the time.God is the only one that can help her then.

Now,I know my sister better ...She's indeed another person that I think is very strong besides my mum.

Overwhelmed by His love

I attended an event call the i-Musical night in PCC just now. I think the Powerhouse presented a really good musical sketch.Although it is short, it did touched my heart. Somehow tonight, the whole event turns out to be something that I didn't expect it at all. Honestly, the reason I went there was to see how they do the musical thing. But, it seems I gained so much more than that.

I felt God.
I felt Him.

The feeling that I had almost forgotten. The last time I was so overwhelmed by his love was when I'm in Canning Garden Methodist Church and that was like five years ago. I know it's embarrassing to keep crying. The try to hold back my tears but it seems I had lost control of myself. The tears keep pouring out. I feel so guilty and unworthy for all the things that I had done. In the past five years, I had gone through a lot of things. It hurts me so badly but I keep holding on to it. I tried spilling out to friends but yet the pain never subsided and the memories of it is still haunting me.

I'm so thankful that someone tonight actually reminded me how much God had loved me and that he is still protecting me. "Jesus loves me" is a phrase that I often hear and said to people. But the true meaning of it can only be felt when you really experience it.